Original geschrieben von Tillerman
Newbie - "One that is new to something, especially a novice at using computer technology or playing computer games."
I don't feel this definition is in-depth enough so I have made some further sub-categories with definitons for each.
Silent Newbie - Generally they are quiet and don't get involved in conversation or shit talk during games. This is usually due to high levels of concentration trying to remember hotkeys for buildings and constantly counting how many peons they have so they don't screw up their cookie cutter build. You can sometimes turn a Silent Newbie into an Angry Newbie with very heavy shit talk but generally this will only happen at the very end of the game if you have beat them very harshly.
Angry Newbie - You see these quite a lot if you do strategies like "Offensive Towering" or very exotic stuff like "Militia Rushing" and win. They will usually say stuff like "if this was BW, you would be so raped" or "you fucking lucky bitches, 1v1 right now?" or "whatever, same shit every game, is that all you guys can do?" You should react by making fun of them in cleverer ways than they can of you, winning the game as harshly as possible, gives you a huge edge in this department of course. Even if they are wittier than you, you can still win by constantly reminding them of how they are really bad at this game etc. Be very careful you don't turn them into a Spiteful Newbie.
Spiteful Newbie - They usually but not always start off as an Angry Newbie. They will cuss or complain for a few minutes and then will attempt to get revenge on you. This usually involves hiding farms around the map and/or refusing to surrender until every building has been destroyed. You should react by saying stuff like - "Damn, you're a very angry newbie
? You really got us back ok, we are really sorry" etc in as sarcastic a tone as possible.
Intellectual Newbie - These are newbies who although intelligent and successful outside of gaming cannot handle the fact that they cannot compete at a high standard in their favorite games. They generally hang out on Forums theorizing on strategies and build orders and attacking more successful gamers with well thought out and formulated attacks(in their mind) but nevertheless transparently newbie comments to the expert and seasoned gamer.
Desperate Newbie - These are newbies who have been newbies for a long time and can't seem to break away from newbiedom. They usually turn to stalking successful gamers, hasseling them for games and/or asking them for help and advice and of course strategies. They will continually do this all day until they are fortunate enough to get some sort of positive response. This cycle of desperation to become a non-newbie will usually continue until his chosen game is not played much anymore at which time he will finally be looked upon as a non-newbie.
Silly Newbie - These are newbies who are are significantly more newbie than is the norm. For instance, newbies who put 9 Acolytes on a Haunted Gold mine or newbies who lose their Heroes to Creeps in the first 5 minutes of a game. You should say stuff like "You silly silly newbie" or "You are one of the stupidest newbies I have ever played" when you encounter one.
DD)
